A Man Remembered

The funeral is Monday.

It’s unbelievable. None of us can believe it. It was so sudden. When dad told me, it was like a dream. It doesn’t seem real.

I have always admired my uncle. We never lived close to him, but we saw him and his family at just about every reunion. I trusted him and would sometimes ask him for advice.

I keep seeing his face. Flashes of pictures, Facebook posts… I can’t believe it. What is this?

He’s gone.

Never to be here again.

We’ll see him in heaven, but what is that to now?

He pastored a church for 10 years and had just graduated with a doctorate last year.

I never know what to pray for when friends are grieving. And I’m still not sure. There’s nothing that can replace this, nothing can replace him or make us feel better and we don’t need to feel better. We have to grieve.

Asking myself what I need, I don’t know. So many friends have come through and have helped with food and more.

What do you do with grief?

I mean, it still hasn’t hit us yet, but that doesn’t mean we’re not feeling it.

It’s so bizarre. It just, happened.

I guess God was done using him here, but the cheesy cliche that God saves the best flowers for himself or whatever is just, stupid. He wasn’t a flower to be plucked from the earth. He wasn’t simply a pretty thing that withers in the night.

He was… wise and great and compassionate and funny. You always had a good time and you always laughed with him. He reminded me greatly of my grandpa. Just so, old. Not old as in grey-haired and wrinkly but old as in, someone you knew you could trust, someone you looked up to.

He definitely made a difference. I didn’t know him very well at all, but I’m sure of that. He showed what it means to follow God, what it means when God said ‘I love you’.

What do you do because it’s like you can’t do anything. You’re too stunned, too numb. I dunno what to do and I guess there’s nothing I can do, but it seems wrong to sit and do nothing. Is that what you do when there’s been a loss?

This is so weird.

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